Hello friends!
I'm sorry I'm such a spastic blogger, but I'm back--and have quite a story for you!
The Characters: 
Meet Jenny...
Looks outdoorsy, adventurous, capable of holding her own in a tough situation...Meet me (more recent pic:)
Smiley, goofy, brings humor to any situation:) Or makes light of sticky situations..Together, we look like we know a little bit of what we're doing in the Great Outdoors:
Well friends, looks can be deceiving....
Chocolate Banana cake surrounded by chocolate covered strawberries paired with Vanilla Ice cream...perfect post-6 hour kayaking expedition:)Our story begins on Saturday around 11AM. We had discussed earlier, but decided to reschedule, renting canoes from KSU Rec. Services and going from Manhattan to St. George on the Big Blue. Jenny and I asked a group of friends to come and celebrate my birthday (on Wednesday, June 30) early on the muddy waters of the riva! Well, it was a busy weekend, and we decided to go it alone. After swapping cars with a one B. Smoller we raced to the Rec and said, "hey, those red (the color of the DEVIL!) kayaks look fun, and we can each have our own, let's do that!" The strapping young lads at the rec hoisted them on to Beth's car, strapped them in, and we were off. After a bit of car juggling, we put in at the Big Blue. Now, we had seen people put their canoes/boats in this river, but I had never seen which direction they went after that initial put-in. Brace yourself because this next part if going to sound utter ridiculous: we went the wrong way!! I know, I know, RIDICULOUS! But, to our defense, there wasn't a current, so we just happened to end up going UPSTREAM! But again, to our defense, we were going with the wind, so we just put the 2 together (wind +water=stream...) and paddled our happy selves all over that nasty river. Let me say this too, the Big Blue is a lazy guy! It doesn't really flow and in fact felt very swampy, marshlandy at times with cotton floaties, and sticks, debris of all kinds just kinda sitting around on the surface. Ok, so it's been 2 hours and 45 minutes and we start to get into really shallow water and see some dudes hanging out on this river bed area near a bridge. So...as we approach, we are addressed by the first human we've seen in quite some time, "Hey, you girls know you're going upstream?" Jenny responds, "Uh, yeah, hey, is this St. George?"
Dude, "St. George is 9 hours that way (pointing in the direction we had just COME FROM!)"
Us, "What?! and then LOTS of laughter followed...." and then......
Me, "AHhhhhhhh, OH MY GOSH! UGH! DOUBLE UGH! AHAHAHAHAHAHA"
And then, something amazing happened: we actually felt the current, pushing us the OTHER way. Stupid River. Time check: 5:15PM
Important side note: My Birthday Party was scheduled to start at 7PM at my house. And there wasn't any food bought/prepared for the event....yet.
So, we turn around, and are struggling! We both are incredibly tired, and feel incredibly discouraged! Jenny, the IronWoman that she is, did P90X Back, triceps and chest DVD, Mowed the lawn and was now kayaking. I entered our adventure with a really sore back from a weed-pulling related injury..:)
Needless to say, speed wasn't really an option. Oh, I should also mention that the "tail wind" that we thought was awesome on the way to our destination, it was a MOTHER B on the way back to where started! If we paused to take a drink of water or rest, the wind would push us back. Which just led to lots of screaming and moaning/wailing from me and calling for help from the river.
Another important side: we don't have any form of technology with us. No compass, no cell phone, nuthin! We didn't want them to get wet and ruined, and we both have SMART phones...just maybe not SMART operators all the time..
The plan--paddle back to Big Blue put-in. Get out of water with DEVIL kayaks. Stupid things. I stay with them while Jenny runs along Linear to our house, get her car, call male-friends for help with a pick up because there wasn't any way we'd be able to lift those bloody kayaks, come back and get me!
And we're off, DOWNstream, (which is just a word, it was still work) all the while trying to figure out how much longer, and what time it was-I did have my watch, when we had a stroke of genius! We thought we were close enough for Jenny to get on Linear closer to our house, hook her kayak to mine, I paddle to boat ramp, she gets a running head start, I stay with the devil boats. We pull over, use the life jacket for it's intended purpose-NOT SAFE! and hook it to my boat, she scales a dirt cliff whilst trying not to fall, and I'm trying not to laugh and get's to the top and I hear: "uh oh."
I call up to her: "what do you see?" Jenny: "a big field"
Me: what kind of crop?
Her: "a green one."
me: "How big is it?"
Her: "Up to here" (holds her hand to her chest)
me: "That's corn!"
Her: "I can't run through that...I have NO idea where we are..."
Me: "Welp, let's just keep going"
She comes down without falling, me again, trying not to laugh. TIME CHECK: 6:30PM We start to wonder who's worried yet...
We continue DOWNSTREAM..hooked together. I'm going to spare you the details, but let's just saw an "odd couple" type dispute took place as we spat back and forth at each other to "UNDO it, no you undo it, just reach behind you, no you come forward and do it. AH Jenny! pull over..."
It went like that.
TIME CHECK: 6:40PM
Silence.
Moaning, panting, ugh!
We start to throw around ideas for a plan: maybe we'll hitch-hike home, it's just Manhattan, it's not that far...maybe we can borrow someone's cell phone at the parking lot. Who we gonna call? (Ghostbusters!) Well, the only number Jenny knew was the Bistro...and I knew nothing. Worthless.
It's just around the bend.
Another bend.
Can you see the bridge? Almost there....
Ahhh we paddle with POWER now, I can see it! Time check: 7:15PM (party started), get out of the water, Jenny goes off on foot running (Don't leave me here!) in Teva's, swimsuit and wet with muddy river water. I pull those blasted boats out of the water, wrestle the crap out of them, kick 'em a bit, and go up to wait in the parking lot. I wanted to be visible on the off-chance the birthday party was now renamed to Search-Party...20-ish minutes later...I'm standing there and see a red car pull in and low and behold it IS a Search Party!! Camala runs over to me, "are you okay! What are you doing! Give me a hug!" Me: "ahh, ah, (tears) I'm gross from the river, oh you came for me!"
Camala, Ryan and Nate were leading the search party while Jo, Katie and Rachel manned home base.
Ryan and Nate in unison: "Where is your phone? Where is your car? Where is your PHONE?! Where is your car?!" Me: I'm sorry!
Camala: Where's Jenny?
Me: She's on foot, on the trail!
Nate: I'll go get her!
Me: She's running, she's far now.
Nate: Well crap!
Camala: Get in, let's go get her! Guys stay with kayaks. I'll come back with truck for you!
We hunt for Jenny, who has made it remarkably close to home, drenched in sweat, feet bleeding and raw from running in Teva's almost starts crying when she sees us waving out the windows. We get her in the car and are met outside my home-base crew with smiles and, "I'm so glad you're okay."
We hug, and then...FOOD!
Rachel: Ok, we were thinking sandwiches, what do you guys want?
Me: pizza! and beer! and cake! and ice cream! yummmm!
Rachel and Jo: ok, we'll take care of it, you guys SHOWER;)
Dude, "St. George is 9 hours that way (pointing in the direction we had just COME FROM!)"
Us, "What?! and then LOTS of laughter followed...." and then......
Me, "AHhhhhhhh, OH MY GOSH! UGH! DOUBLE UGH! AHAHAHAHAHAHA"
And then, something amazing happened: we actually felt the current, pushing us the OTHER way. Stupid River. Time check: 5:15PM
Important side note: My Birthday Party was scheduled to start at 7PM at my house. And there wasn't any food bought/prepared for the event....yet.
So, we turn around, and are struggling! We both are incredibly tired, and feel incredibly discouraged! Jenny, the IronWoman that she is, did P90X Back, triceps and chest DVD, Mowed the lawn and was now kayaking. I entered our adventure with a really sore back from a weed-pulling related injury..:)
Needless to say, speed wasn't really an option. Oh, I should also mention that the "tail wind" that we thought was awesome on the way to our destination, it was a MOTHER B on the way back to where started! If we paused to take a drink of water or rest, the wind would push us back. Which just led to lots of screaming and moaning/wailing from me and calling for help from the river.
Another important side: we don't have any form of technology with us. No compass, no cell phone, nuthin! We didn't want them to get wet and ruined, and we both have SMART phones...just maybe not SMART operators all the time..
The plan--paddle back to Big Blue put-in. Get out of water with DEVIL kayaks. Stupid things. I stay with them while Jenny runs along Linear to our house, get her car, call male-friends for help with a pick up because there wasn't any way we'd be able to lift those bloody kayaks, come back and get me!
And we're off, DOWNstream, (which is just a word, it was still work) all the while trying to figure out how much longer, and what time it was-I did have my watch, when we had a stroke of genius! We thought we were close enough for Jenny to get on Linear closer to our house, hook her kayak to mine, I paddle to boat ramp, she gets a running head start, I stay with the devil boats. We pull over, use the life jacket for it's intended purpose-NOT SAFE! and hook it to my boat, she scales a dirt cliff whilst trying not to fall, and I'm trying not to laugh and get's to the top and I hear: "uh oh."
I call up to her: "what do you see?" Jenny: "a big field"
Me: what kind of crop?
Her: "a green one."
me: "How big is it?"
Her: "Up to here" (holds her hand to her chest)
me: "That's corn!"
Her: "I can't run through that...I have NO idea where we are..."
Me: "Welp, let's just keep going"
She comes down without falling, me again, trying not to laugh. TIME CHECK: 6:30PM We start to wonder who's worried yet...
We continue DOWNSTREAM..hooked together. I'm going to spare you the details, but let's just saw an "odd couple" type dispute took place as we spat back and forth at each other to "UNDO it, no you undo it, just reach behind you, no you come forward and do it. AH Jenny! pull over..."
It went like that.
TIME CHECK: 6:40PM
Silence.
Moaning, panting, ugh!
We start to throw around ideas for a plan: maybe we'll hitch-hike home, it's just Manhattan, it's not that far...maybe we can borrow someone's cell phone at the parking lot. Who we gonna call? (Ghostbusters!) Well, the only number Jenny knew was the Bistro...and I knew nothing. Worthless.
It's just around the bend.
Another bend.
Can you see the bridge? Almost there....
Ahhh we paddle with POWER now, I can see it! Time check: 7:15PM (party started), get out of the water, Jenny goes off on foot running (Don't leave me here!) in Teva's, swimsuit and wet with muddy river water. I pull those blasted boats out of the water, wrestle the crap out of them, kick 'em a bit, and go up to wait in the parking lot. I wanted to be visible on the off-chance the birthday party was now renamed to Search-Party...20-ish minutes later...I'm standing there and see a red car pull in and low and behold it IS a Search Party!! Camala runs over to me, "are you okay! What are you doing! Give me a hug!" Me: "ahh, ah, (tears) I'm gross from the river, oh you came for me!"
Camala, Ryan and Nate were leading the search party while Jo, Katie and Rachel manned home base.
Ryan and Nate in unison: "Where is your phone? Where is your car? Where is your PHONE?! Where is your car?!" Me: I'm sorry!
Camala: Where's Jenny?
Me: She's on foot, on the trail!
Nate: I'll go get her!
Me: She's running, she's far now.
Nate: Well crap!
Camala: Get in, let's go get her! Guys stay with kayaks. I'll come back with truck for you!
We hunt for Jenny, who has made it remarkably close to home, drenched in sweat, feet bleeding and raw from running in Teva's almost starts crying when she sees us waving out the windows. We get her in the car and are met outside my home-base crew with smiles and, "I'm so glad you're okay."
We hug, and then...FOOD!
Rachel: Ok, we were thinking sandwiches, what do you guys want?
Me: pizza! and beer! and cake! and ice cream! yummmm!
Rachel and Jo: ok, we'll take care of it, you guys SHOWER;)
Eventually boys came back with boats and beer. Pizza was delivered. Rachel made a beautiful cake
After a couple of brews, lots of recapping of the experience from every perspective it was a PERFECT Birthday party! I loved laughing about it afterwards and I felt so so so loved by my dear friends that came for me and rescued me:)
Joslyn was a great post-trauma hugger too:)I just want you guys to know that I had trouble falling asleep that night because I couldn't stop smiling because I loved how things ended! I was sorry to worry you guys, but thanks for caring so much:)
ahh, it's even great to relive via blogging;) I hope you enjoyed the tale! :)
That's all for now!
